There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!
SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me
SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM: And?
SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.
SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.
SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man
with his pants down.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Friday, January 13, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Interesting facts:part 2
1. The most common name in the world is Mohammed2. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.
3. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
4. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath
5. TYPE WRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
6. It is impossible to lick your elbow.7. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
8. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
9. Like finger prints, everyone's tongue print is different.
10. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
11. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
And
Finally....................99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watchin
3. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.
4. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath
5. TYPE WRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.
6. It is impossible to lick your elbow.7. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.
8. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.
9. Like finger prints, everyone's tongue print is different.
10. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!
11. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
And
Finally....................99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watchin
SOME INTERESTING FACTS:part 1
1. Coca-Cola was originally green.
2. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12345678 9 87654321
3. Q. This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is that?
Ans – Honey
4. A snail can sleep for three years.
5. Butterflies taste with their feet.
6. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump
7. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
8. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.
Spades-King David,
Clubs -Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne,
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
9. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
Ans- One thousand No (One Hundred "And" One etc. cannot be included because 'AND' is not a number)
10. Michael Jordan gets more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
2. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12345678 9 87654321
3. Q. This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is that?
Ans – Honey
4. A snail can sleep for three years.
5. Butterflies taste with their feet.
6. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump
7. Most lipstick contains fish scales.
8. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.
Spades-King David,
Clubs -Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne,
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.
9. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
Ans- One thousand No (One Hundred "And" One etc. cannot be included because 'AND' is not a number)
10. Michael Jordan gets more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.
a letter from mother to son
A letter from a Punjabi Mother (India) to her son.
My dear .................. Singh,
I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.
I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.
I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.
By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love - Mom.
P.S. .................. Singh, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter
nb:I got this letter as an email,please take this as it is...no harm meant
My dear .................. Singh,
I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.
I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.
I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.
This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.
The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.
Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.
By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love - Mom.
P.S. .................. Singh, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter
nb:I got this letter as an email,please take this as it is...no harm meant
Monday, January 09, 2006
expectations too high???
It was professor smith's first day at st. Johns medical college as a
faculty.
Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom of
1st year medical students, where he received a warm welcome from the
students, followed by their intro.
To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class.
He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me
ask you a simple question on human anatomy".
He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said,
"Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original
size when excited?"Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she
replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female.
I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".
Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around
the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could
satisfy his query.
This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand
in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.
Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye" The professor applauded for the
boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said:
"Look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple of things:
(1) You lack knowledge
(2) you have a dirty mind and
(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!!
faculty.
Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom of
1st year medical students, where he received a warm welcome from the
students, followed by their intro.
To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class.
He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me
ask you a simple question on human anatomy".
He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said,
"Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original
size when excited?"Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she
replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female.
I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".
Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around
the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could
satisfy his query.
This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand
in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.
Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye" The professor applauded for the
boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said:
"Look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple of things:
(1) You lack knowledge
(2) you have a dirty mind and
(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!!
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