A man walks into a bar and he's really pissed. The bartender gives him a drink and asks what the problem is. All he says is, “All lawyers are a**holes.”
A man sitting in the corner shouts, “I take offense to that!”
The pissed off guy asks him, “Why? Are you a lawyer?”
He replies, “No, I'm an a**hole.”
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
chinese is really funny
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan!
It's urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to
anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our
brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan
got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was
sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent
matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your
name!!
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?
Caller: I'm Sum Wan .And I need to talk to Annie Wan!
It's urgent.
Operator: I know u are someone and u want to talk to
anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our
brother, Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan
got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was
sent to the hospital from the accident that isn't an urgent
matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Lee.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your
name!!
Some stupid questions and fantastic answers!!
Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Waiter :- Would you like to Have BLACK COFFEE..
CUSTOMER : "What other colors do you have
Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday".
Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"
Pupil : "The moon".
Teacher : "Why?"
Pupil : "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".
Teacher : "What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"
Pupil : "A teacher".
Waiter :- Would you like to Have BLACK COFFEE..
CUSTOMER : "What other colors do you have
Thursday, June 08, 2006
practicing law!
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way: The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way: The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.
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