Supernatural!!!

There was this case in the hospital's Intensive care ward where
patients always died in the same bed and on Sunday morning at 11a.m.,
regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and
some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural.
No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11
AM.

So a worldwide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down
to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next
Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses
nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the
terrible phenomenon was all about.

Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects
to ward off evil........ Just when the clock struck 11... Santa Singh,
the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life
support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner.

Careful Driver

As Raj was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Buta-jee,
I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the
motorway you are on.

Please be careful!" "It's not just one car," said Buta Singh. "It's
hundreds of them!"

why friends are necessary

A proposal

A collegian was deeply in love with a foreign girl, whom he wanted to
marry, but he did not have the courage to talk to her in person. So
he decided to go home and with the aid of a dictionary, wrote a
letter of proposal to her.

THIS IS WHAT HE WROTE .....

My Darling

Most worthy of your estimation, after a long consideration and much
meditation, I have a strong inclination to become your relation.

As to my educational qualification, it is no exaggeration or fabrication,
that I have passed my matriculation, no doubt without any hesitation and
very little concentrated preparation. What you say to the solemnization
of our marriage celebration according to the population of the present
generation.

On your approbation of this application, I shall make preparation to
improve my situation, and if such obligation is worthy of consideration
and commiseration, it will be an augmentation of the joy and exultation
of our joint dissimulation.

Thanking you in anticipation and with devotion.

I remain,
A victim of your fascination
~~~~<<@>>~~~~
THE GIRL REPLIES

Dear Mr. Victim of my fascination,

Congaratulations for your lengthy narration, of course, full of affection,
aimed at an affliction for a combination, which on examination, I find it
a fine presentation of your co-operation, but your inclination to become
my relation should embrace more qualification so that you may reach high
position.

You have passed the matriculation examination with little concentration
and preparartion. What about my graduation after much concentration and
botheration? So improve your situation in education and make an application
by acquisition of post graduation, the minimum qualification for the
consideration of our marriage celebration. After your education, attend
the convocation and before taking your photo for circulation, undergo
beautification.

Further, strict observation of the following conditions is the regulation
for determination of our relation:

1. Consultation with my parents before approaching for any connection.
2. Communication of your confirmation that you are not a victim of "any
other" fascination, and
3. Procreation must not be your recreation.

In anticipation of solid action of continuation of proper conversation.

Unaffected by your affection

software is really good!!

A computer salesman, a hardware engineer, and a software engineer are driving in a car together. Suddenly the right rear tire blows out, and the car rolls to a stop. Our three heroes pile out to investigate.

The salesman announces sadly, "Time to buy a new car!"

Says the hardware engineer, "Well, first let's try swapping the front and rear tires, and see if that fixes it."

Replies the software engineer, "Now, let's just try driving the car again, and maybe the problem will go away by itself."

south african airways!!!

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom
was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made
them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few
words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The
card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the
Nescafe jar.

It said: "Good till the last drop".

Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.


The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding,
and the card read: "Rothmans"
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read
from the pack: "Extra Long. King Size"

She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a
week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a
whole month, a card finally arrived.

Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"

Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages
fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for South Africn Airways.

The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."


Mom fainted!

terrorist???

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York.
> Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a
> pit bull dog.
> He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He
> succeeds in killing
> the dog and saving the girl's life.
>
> A policeman who was watching the scene walks over
> and says: "You are a
> hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the
> newspapers: "Brave New Yorker
>
> saves the life of little girl".
>
> The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"
> Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning:
>
> "Brave American saves the life of little girl".
>
> But I am not an American!" - says the man. Oh, what
> are you then?"
> The man says: "I am a Pakistani!"
>
> The next day the newspapers say: "Extremist kills
> innocent American
> dog".>

healthy-fish

story of two nuns

There were two nuns...

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL).

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for
the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes
at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only
logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and
I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.

Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is
worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run
as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.

SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man
with his pants down.

computer terminology

Interesting facts:part 2

1. The most common name in the world is Mohammed2. The name of all the continents ends with the same letter that they start with.

3. There are two credit cards for every person in the United States.

4. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath

5. TYPE WRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

6. It is impossible to lick your elbow.7. The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

8. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

9. Like finger prints, everyone's tongue print is different.

10. Women blink nearly twice as much as men!!

11. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

And

Finally....................99% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.


Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watchin

SOME INTERESTING FACTS:part 1

1. Coca-Cola was originally green.

2. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12345678 9 87654321

3. Q. This is the only food that doesn't spoil. What is that?
Ans – Honey

4. A snail can sleep for three years.

5. Butterflies taste with their feet.

6. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump

7. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

8. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history.
Spades-King David,
Clubs -Alexander the Great,
Hearts - Charlemagne,
Diamonds - Julius Caesar.

9. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
Ans- One thousand No (One Hundred "And" One etc. cannot be included because 'AND' is not a number)

10. Michael Jordan gets more money from Nike annually than the entire Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined.

a world without treeees???

a letter from mother to son

A letter from a Punjabi Mother (India) to her son.

My dear .................. Singh,

I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there.

I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I won't be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet I'm not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven't seen them since.

The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love - Mom.

P.S. .................. Singh, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter

nb:I got this letter as an email,please take this as it is...no harm meant

expectations too high???

It was professor smith's first day at st. Johns medical college as a
faculty.

Known for his teaching excellence, he made his entry into a classroom of
1st year medical students, where he received a warm welcome from the
students, followed by their intro.
To start with, he planned to put forth a question to the class.
He said, "Well students, before we start off with today's lecture, let me
ask you a simple question on human anatomy".

He gazed across the classroom, spotted a female student Suzie, and said,
"Tell me Suzie, which part of the human body grows 10 times its original
size when excited?"Hearing this question, Suzie's face grew pale in embarrassment, she
replied:" you should be ashamed to ask such a question to a female.
I am sorry, but I can't answer your, this question".
Thwarted by the girl's reply, professor smith rolled on his sight around
the classroom afresh, to find out if there was anyone else who could
satisfy his query.

This time he located a male student Henry, who had already raised his hand
in affirmation to answer the question, and allowed the lad to go ahead.

Henry answered: "pupil of a human eye" The professor applauded for the
boy's accurate answer; then turned back to Suzie and said:

"Look, Suzie, I am sorry but, I must tell you a couple of things:

(1) You lack knowledge

(2) you have a dirty mind and

(3) Your Expectations are too high !!!!